Self-Love, Especially on Valentine's Day

February 14, 2018 Claire Hapke

We all know when Valentine’s Day is coming. Stores are draped in red and pink and we have hearts coming out of our ears!

I don’t know about you, but Valentine’s Day is my least favorite holiday. Whether you’re in a relationship or not. If you’re single, this day reminds you that you don’t have that “special someone,” even if you don’t want to be in a relationship. It is hard to feel like single is an acceptable choice when love is being shoved down our throats.

If you’re in a relationship, it’s a game of expectations versus reality, living up to the hype, and having a better date planned than that one friend who is always somewhere amazing around the world.

This year, lets pledged to do it differently. No flowers, no chocolate, no dates, just some good, old-fashioned self-love. Its time to remind ourselves how awesome we are, with or without a partner.

I think when we feel good about ourselves, we are better able to connect with others and feel confident in social settings. It’s kind of like a bank account: when you put money in, you probably feel less desperate and anxious about getting more. Similarly, when you treat yourself, you will feel like you “need” a partner less.

So what are some kick-ass things to do that remind you how great you are? My go-to is always to get a massage. It helps me get out of my head, and really sink into my body sensations.

Another good choice to help get out of your head is a yoga or meditation class.

Other ideas might be to get out and connect with nature, go for a hike, take a bath, read a book for fun, get your favorite food for dinner, or open that bottle of wine you’ve been saving for a special occasion.

Whatever you decide to do, I hope it is intentional. You are incredible and unique, and its time to remind yourself, before you forget!

Originally posted on My Wellbeing: https://www.mywellbeing.us/blog/2018/2/14/self-love-especially-on-valentines-day

I took the California MFT Clinical Exam and the National MFT Exam. Here’s how they compare.

October 3, 2017 Claire Hapke

I just took the California MFT Clinical Exam and the National MFT Exam within a month of each other. When scheduling both of these exams, my hope was that I could study once, and then ace both. Here, I’ll outline the similarities and differences I noticed between the two exams.

LA --> BK!

July 24, 2017 Claire Hapke

I am so excited to be opening a private therapy practice in Brooklyn Heights, where I will see clients struggling of a quarter-life crisis. The time after college can be fraught with uncertainty: relationships, career, family, religion, identity in general etc. can be difficult to navigate alone. I cannot wait to help!

Quarter-Life: Crisis or Transition?

March 11, 2016 Claire Hapke

Our parents might say that a Quarter-Life Crisis is just another excuse to be lazy, serial date, or complain about our jobs. Little do they know, it’s a real thing. No, you didn’t make it up. More and more research supports the existence of this existential identity crisis. A Quarter-Life Crisis can show up in many ways: feeling lost, confused, insecure, perpetually unsettled. It can also be that wonderful situation of being overeducated and underemployed or the constant pressure of needing to be successful at whatever ventures we undertake. We’ve heard our parents say: “by the time I was your age I was already married, had purchased my first house, and had my first child.” How are we supposed to feel after hearing that?

What if we looked at this time as a transition period instead of a crisis? This is the time where we are really figuring out who we are in the “real world.” We no longer have the structure of school and are expected to snap into this new role with no hesitation- ya right. It takes time to adjust. It takes time to explore this newfound freedom. 2016 is not 1950: it is no longer the norm to graduate and get the one job you will have for the rest of your life. Humans today are living longer than ever before; this means that we have even more time to figure out our lives. This freedom is a gift, though it so often disguises itself as pressure. The next you feel pressure to “get your shit together” or “settle down,” I invite you to reevaluate and focus on the freedom.

Therapy is helpful! -- Who knew?!

July 7, 2015 Claire Hapke

Here is an interesting article talking about the utility of therapy. Often times we think about therapy as a last result or a quick fix in a crisis, but how else can therapy help? We all have friends and family who are willing to listen to us vent-- is that different from therapy? The answer is yes! A therapist is a confidential, non-judgmental, willing and open conversation partner that is there solely for the purpose of supporting you through the good and bad times. We aren't going to be on our phones, we won't chat with friends about you, and we definitely won't make the conversation about us. Therapy is for you, and it can be very helpful for both severe mental health issues, or just support going through life's everyday challenges.